My Secret Garden Gnome

Tending to the flowers
I found a little man.
He was sitting on a mushroom
Soaking up a tan.
So I crept a little closer
To get a better look.
I thought he wouldn’t see me,
His nose was in a book.
Suddenly he turned his grinning face
To give me a smile and a wink!
“Hey there sweet lady,
I like the smell of your pink.”
Then he laughed
A most creepy little sound
And when I looked down
My hands and feet were bound.
“It took you long enough to find me.
I’ve been waiting quite a while.
You’re lips have that sweet pout,
You’re hips a wicked style.
I’ve come to take you away from here
To a place you’ve only dreamt.
I heard your calls over hill and dale,
Your wishes have been spent.
Your desire I will care for,
Your hopes and fears put to rest.
Don’t take offense to how I look,
As far as lovers go I’m the best!”
There was a sound like bells
And the next thing I knew,
Either I got smaller
Or he grew.
He flung me over his shoulder
And trudged on through the grass.
He laughed his creepy laugh
As he patted my ass.
He took me to his little home
In the trunk of a gnarled old tree.
He cooked us a sweet dinner
And let my hands and feet free.
The funny thing was
I no longer wanted to run.
I was giddy on his honey.
I was having fun.
I thanked him for his hospitality
Then begged him for more
Because as far as lovers went
This little man was not a bore.
He knew exactly what I needed,
He knew every secret place,
He knew the tricks to make me scream,
He drove my heart to race.
But when I woke up,
He was no more.
I was left alone and ravished,
Another common whore.